“When Sheep Bite: Dealing with Disruptive Behavior in the Church” is a guest post by Dr. Don McCaig, who serves as a church consultant, leadership trainer, and financial planner. You can learn more about him below. To submit a guest post for consideration, learn more here.
“I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naïve.” – Romans 16:17-18
When I began pastoral ministry twenty years ago, I naively believed that as a pastor, my decisions for the church’s direction would be unanimously celebrated. Surely, everyone would recognize God’s wisdom through me and fall in line. If you’ve served in ministry, you know just how far from reality that notion is. Every pastor or church leader I’ve encountered has had to contend with individuals determined to create conflict, halt progress, and sow division within the church.
While no pastor is infallible, and church leaders should not demand blind allegiance, there’s a clear distinction between members acting as guardians of the church’s vision and those whose behavior becomes disruptive and toxic. In this article, I’ll share insights on identifying and addressing divisive people, drawn from my experience as a pastor and church consultant.
1. Discerning Between Disruption and Dissent
The first step is discerning whether someone is genuinely divisive or merely raising legitimate concerns. Sometimes, resistance stems from selfishness, but at other times, it’s a warning signal. For example, I’ve occasionally rushed into implementing ideas inspired by a conference or book without consulting the congregation, praying over the decision, or ensuring alignment with the church’s vision. In such cases, a pause may be necessary for discernment.
To discern motives, invite trusted leaders into the conversation. Confidentially explore whether the individual has a pattern of gossip, negativity, or manipulation. Are they opposing every initiative, or is their resistance situational? Identifying a pattern can help determine whether their behavior is harmful or simply protective of the church’s mission.
2. Have the Necessary Conversations
I once encountered a church where one individual had driven out four pastors. Astonishingly, none of them ever confronted her directly. All four later expressed regret for not addressing her behavior sooner.
If you’re in leadership, addressing divisive individuals is part of your calling. Following Matthew 18:15-20, approach the person one-on-one to explain how their actions are affecting the church. They might not even realize the damage they’re causing. If this doesn’t resolve the issue, involve other leaders to emphasize the seriousness of the matter. Should the problem persist, involve the congregation—not to shame, but to pursue unity.
When involving the church, it’s essential to handle the situation with care and wisdom. For instance, a public announcement might not be appropriate. Instead, explain that the leadership has addressed divisive behavior and invite the congregation to uphold unity. Paul’s advice in Romans 16:17-18 to “avoid them” might translate to encouraging members to be cautious about aligning with those causing disruption.
3. Teach the Church About Unity and Division
The most effective strategy for addressing divisiveness is prevention. Teach your congregation about unity, the dangers of gossip, and the importance of guarding the church’s mission. When the congregation recognizes divisive behavior, they’re less likely to give it power.
In one revitalization project, I preached a sermon highlighting how gossip and negativity among church leaders can drive potential new members away. I explained that a church constantly criticizing its leadership communicates that it’s neither a healthy church nor a safe one. The message resonated, and the personal attacks stopped.
Consistently emphasize the value of unity, and create a culture where divisive behavior is neither tolerated nor rewarded. The power of divisive individuals often dissolves when they no longer have an audience willing to listen.
4. Focus on Restoration, Not Removal
The ultimate goal in addressing divisive behavior isn’t to push someone out of the church but to restore them to fellowship. Imagine the testimony of a once-disruptive member transformed into a unified, peaceful contributor. Such a change not only strengthens the church but also enriches the individual’s life, bringing peace and renewed relationships within the congregation.
Approach these situations with truth and love, resisting the temptation to manipulate or retaliate. Shepherds care for hurting sheep—even those causing pain to the flock. Difficult conversations, seasoned with grace and truth, can lead to healing and reconciliation.
Conclusion
Dealing with disruptive behavior in the church is one of the most challenging aspects of leadership, but it’s also an opportunity to safeguard the unity and mission of the body of Christ. By discerning motives, having hard conversations, teaching the congregation about unity, and pursuing restoration, we can navigate these challenges with wisdom and grace.
Our role as leaders isn’t to wield authority for personal agendas but to steward the church as faithful shepherds. And sometimes, the most loving thing we can do for the church—and for divisive members themselves—is to address harmful behavior head-on, trusting God to guide the process.
Dr. Don McCaig is a church consultant, leadership trainer, and financial planner with nearly two decades of pastoral experience. He holds advanced degrees in theology, preaching, and leadership and is dedicated to equipping Christian leaders to grow spiritually and lead with excellence in their ministries.
